Off to Raleigh....

And a Merry Christmas to all... Looking forward to the New Year and the holidays... Who knows what is going to happen. A few potential things and things still unknown.
Feel free to visit my website
http://www.youregettingsleepy.com

Almost that time...

Okay, so work hasn't been rolling in...so today I took an artistic date to
and now
I am just filling out my blogs.
Tomorrow night at 1130 pm my time... they are How Clean is Your house... I will post my version of the show on the following day....

Im not exactly looking forward to it... but it will be interesting....

A late Thanksgiving posting...

Well, due to what can only be described as an overdose of trytophan, it took me a bit of time to post my Thanksgiving tale.
This year, my plan to "give back" turned into a huge success. I found an ad, thru the popular website craigslist.org, telling me of a group that does a sort of grass roots "feed the homeless" and I followed up on it . Now, I didn't really push for details ( I'm a photographer, not a journalist ) but as near as I can tell, this was the name of the "project"....



and this is where we met on Sunset....
and this is what we did... in a sort of fire brigade fashion, food, which everyone supplied, was placed on plates. Huge amounts of food, Turkey, yams, potatoes, and gravy, etc. ( I manned the gravy...the one thanksgiving staple of which I have never been fond ). Tons of food... Well, technically maybe not tons of food, but no one counted.


then the plates of food where placed in bags, then placed in cars, and the bags were delivered to the homeless that the drivers found.

The energy was amazing. The feeling of helping was very obvious and the people in attendance were all great people. Some 500 plates of food went out and some people brought articles of clothing, blankets, and other household items that anyone without would appreciate. It was a great couple of hours and a great project.



Then, a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with friends, primarily short friends from the enchanted forest. Yeah, a few of snow white's dwarves. I was invited by a dear friend.... who is attacking the Turkey with a new electric knife...
An awesome dinner and an awesome day...

thanks for taking a moment of your day to read....

more news to follow...

including the exciting ..thrilling... tragic ... foray into the world of reality TV. Which airs this Friday... My version of the story will be posted after the airing...

-D

WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO !!!!!

Well Nick... I'm sorry. Jessica Simpson left him

But, it's finally happened. Yeah, now we can be open, now that its in the tabloids. Jessica has left Nick. I feel bad for ya Nick, but, what can I say. Oh sure, there will be those that say I stole her from you. There will be those that say, she needs time alone. But, we love each other. We do. And love can't be wrong. Oh sure there are people that say she is stupid. I used to be one of those people, then I learned that conversations aren't important. Love is beyond that. Nick, some day you'll look back on losing Jessica and you will feel good. You will realize it was a good thing. I know I will. Until then , let us have our fun.
Let me be the first to say Merry Christmas everyone...and Jessica would also like to wish you all a happy new year, but she can't right now. I unfortunately placed her in a paper bag and asked her to sing her way out... I havent seen her for awhile. But for Christmas I am getting her a bucket for her tunes. It's sad. Right now she cant even carry a tune in a bucket, and I want her to be able to.

ARRGGHHH !!!!!! Okay, approximately seven days left and I just hit the halfway point... I'm not feeling overly confident. But, I do know I will finish. The real gripe I have write now, is the laptop I am writing on...was a cheap one I got through an auction site... which in pig latin is... ummm..ebay... I guess.. Drat. Umm anyway to make a long story short, somehow it is unable to accept a spell check into the programming. So... even as I type I know that near day 30th...I have to do a major spell check. Oops. And the REAL bite is... the letter "t" tends to duplicate itself consistently, leading to words like : hesitttantttly, bittter. So, spell check won't be fun. At all. But I must finish.

Three hours at Starbucks a night or so... and I will finish gracefully.

Pro wrestler Eddie Guerrero found dead.

I am stunned. Yeah I didn't know the guy, but I did watch him wrestle just last week. He put on an awesome show. Just kind of one of those weird things. No results as to why yet, but either way, he is gone. Say what you want about the sports entertainment called professional wrestling, but this guy knew how to work a crowd. And he and Dave Batista ( pictured below in a seperate post ) put on one of the best matches I have ever seen. Eddie you will be missed.

NEW GAME !!!!!

Okay, so I am completely panicked and completely out of work. I am picking up the odd gig here and there, but not having a steady gig is truly frightening. Haven't been in this boat in a while. I did manage to book a nice commercial, so thats some money. I have been told I will be hosting a new segment on a local..possibly state wide program...but you can truly smell the smoke and see the mirrors in this gig. Which is my way of saying... it's..if not bogus... not going to be whats promised. I end up with more than my fair share of this kind of gig....

So..in my downtime I have a new past time....

cruising this blog site....and surfing all the blogs...BUT..I have added a new twist and it's cracking me up...

babel fish...

http://babelfish.altavista.com/

I translate the pages of languages I don't know... leading to some interesting blogs...
here are three of my favorite so far....

and...I have no idea what it means... but it sure does kill time... sad huh?
the following are exerpts...

----------------------

In the emergency...
the devil flies eats. Or the sausage without bread. Or blog should the solution be? The way out of chronic lack of work, to wealth, power and satisfaction. And I blow disappointed...
======================

It has seated me before, in a chair of so large day-care center. The table is one of those short that puts between the sofa and the television, with which I am forced to double espinazo in a position one picks uncomfortable. It has position a short dress and vaporous, with good decollete, and two melonescas teats in which almost she supports the chin since a girl would do showing itself to the counter after which there is something interests to him. There is something strange and fascinating in her, must be that game of disproportions, with those great hands and until tufas, a body of girl and a ass of adult, reduced to perfect scale but of form, and those feet of girl, contained in sandals of tirillas with average heel. An average heel that it does not intend to increase his stature, battles lost, but to accentuate its arched ones and to cause that their ass is still more respingón.

===============

To America they say olive to him, because they removed the gray matter to him, put Chile to him and all take hold it of cocktail snack.


---------

Let the adventure begin.

-Mad

Man, ya have to love blogspot....

New car..no money...and a recent slow down in all work. Lots of auditions, call backs and a pretty good run of photo gigs
( shutteropen.blogspot ) but... without income in coming I've been kind of stressed. Leading me to spend more time online...(yeah insomnia !) if it is indeed possible...to spend MORE time on here... but I do...
So, the cool thing about blogspot is the ability to surf by hitting "next blog " in the corner....
There are some great sites here... I read some...comment on some... leave comments. It's a very unique society here...
Hey, if you are looking to see who left you a comment...feel free to comment here...
Like a whole new group of unknown friends.

IT AIN'T OVER ???

Okay, so even though I have yet to post the story of the "HOW CLEAN IS YOUR HOUSE" taping, they called again today. They want to do an internet follow up. Meaning a taping to post on their internet site. YIKES.... Okay, so for the past few days I have had the flu or some bizarre allergy sinus thing. Last night an earache woke me up. I can't remember ever having that happen as an adult.

So, I'm wondering around my empty house at 230 a.m. feeling like a little kid wanting my mom. I have no medication nor knowledge of what to do for this ache. No caffiene free tea... No cold/sinus stuff, and a cat sleeping by my head that CAN'T be helping my sinuses. So, I take the dreaded NyQuil I find in my bathroom cabinet. I dont think it's past any expiration date, but to be honest, I don't care.... so ... to make a long story short... I'm buzzed all day from the giant Q... ( Dennis Leary says it better... check out his NyQuil rant ) and I'm not happy.

I have been sick so the house is a pig sty. I can't believe they want back in. They literally tore this house apart in an attempt to clean it.... ridiculous. So, now they want back in and there is no way I can return it to the immaculate and sterile condition they left it and much less do I want to....

I will post the airing date here for my faithful readers and I will post my side of it as well.. but let me say it here first.

They made it look as bad as it was...and when they fixed it.... they made it worse.

2000 plus books all organized so they would look pretty for the camera.... Can you imagine visiting a library that organizes their books by height ???

sigh... news as it happens....

in the meantime...

please...please....visit my sponsors...

car gps navigation

diamond watches

Mortgage Rates

bextra lawsuits

silver investors & investing

Psychotherapy T-Shirts

An awesome way to spend a night...

Thanks to my good friend Scott, I was able to attend WWE wrestling at the Staples Center here in LA.
Now ya see... I love professional wrestling... yeah yeah... I know. Did I mention I'm single ?

These guys and women... put on an awesome show. Truly top notch.From start to finish, over the top entertainment. From the dark shows to the final match, which, if you have never been to a taping, the last show...match... is a little unusual. Well, at least last Sunday, and I have to assume every show. This is the match that I have to assume made Owen Hart the hero to wrestlers that he was. Not a completely serious match, more for laughs and definitely more for show. Wrestlers are top notch athletes. They put their body on the line every single performance. It's an insult to say it's fake. Fake ?.... ummm sorry. Okay, scripted maybe, outcomes pre-planned... to a degree at least, but ... what a show. I'm not a big fan of professional sports. But, pro wrestling ? Sign me up.
And if any of the superstars, or want to be superstars out there read this... feel free to comment... and lets do it...you and me... street brawl. You bring the trash cans....
Ill bring the drum sticks....

http://trashcandrummers.blogspot.com/

and now a word from our sponsors

emerald diamond rings
Mortgage Refinancing
current gold prices

It's still insane....

Okay..the full story isn't online anywhere yet.. But, it will be posted here.
My adventure with a reality show known as
"How Clean is Your House..."
I am still reeling from the devastation known as Kim and Maggie.
Let me say this to start: The definition of "organization" is not universal.
Of course they are British. They haven't really done well on our territories before.
Only, they seemed to do more damage this time than in the past...
Im still struggling to find my personal possessions, but once I am back up and running...
you'll get the full story... all the good...and the bad...
but trust me, there is a LOT more of the latter....

and now... please... as always...follow the links to my sponsors...
if for no other reason then the fun of watching internet pages load.



Diamond Men's Watches

Debt Consolidation

accutane lawsuits

Art...

And thats just the start... I was bushwacked by a reality show..and this was just a part of what they did...those are juggling props they decided to use as art..on my walls...and the fruit...
framed glass... fun for earthquakes...
there was a table... but...umm not my style... there is more...but they arent done yet...

news to follow

until then...

here is one of my sponsors

gps system

Things are getting curious....

A new start...after a very bizarre audition last week... it's possible the career is gonna take a new twist. So... keep your eye on this space... Contracts will be presented in two weeks...deals will be spun... and then.. if it all falls together... you may have the opportunity to see my mug in tv on a regular basis... or so it seems to be heading...
Finally, what appears to be a nice little break... lol..or not... it's just that kind of town ya know...

Off to two auditions tomorrow as well...
like anyone cares... well.. I DO !!!

A little lift at the end of the week...

Well, life gets interesting every now and then. Career has had a bit of an upswing... If ya dont know about a place called Hollygrove in LA... It's an incredibly special place. I was honored with the chance to perform there briefly this past week. It was an absolute blast and the kids were great. Not to mention, I met a whole new group of variety performers to connect with.
So.. because of some interesting connections thru that gig, a burst of potential greeted me. News to follow.
On the other side of things, I'm back on the road with RePercussion again next week and am looking forward to seeing Columbus, Ohio... STATE FAIR !
So...all in all..though its been the slowest summer for me in a number of years... finally there is a light at the end of the tunnel...

Money...even after a road trip ??

Interesting.... Apparently there is money to be made thru a blog !!!....
News as it happens because, even though it looks pretty positive... paypal says.. " you're gonna have to wait a few days for the money to clear "
Okay, that may not be an exact quote but its close...
So, I'm back from lovely Wisconsin. Madison. A drum show.
trashcandrummers.blogspot.com
And so it goes.... ( another money attempt )
We didn't stay in an Italian Villa Rentals but we used something like
Web Database Software to keep in touch with the outside world. Luckily while we travel our rental car uses some form of car insurance .
So let's see thats.... five bucks a reference... 15 dollars right there ... or so I'm told....
david

Interesting....

In the ongoing world of interesting things....
Apparently Money can be made via a weblog....
fascinating.... lets see if it works...
for instance if I say...a phrase like funeral flowers.... apparently... just saying it alone is interesting...but since it links to a site... I get cash for having said it. If it works... I'll let ya know...
keep an eye out for me in Madison WI.... Im coming for a week to do shows...
yippee !

My Face

My Face
Originally uploaded by Macsting.

The story continues....

(So, the story continued.. During this duration of emails...I'm sending emails and making phone calls to Yahoo. They are the providers of Pompey's email. I am very pleased to hear once I send yahoo the required form it will take about two hours to shut this guy down.
Little did I know that it meant two hours from when they figured they would care....
So I sent Pompey a receipt from Western Union...and honestly I was concerned that this fraud would get me in trouble... but I figured since "I paid" for it with a forged check I was relatively safe. )

(And then I decide to write pompey a quick email....)


I DONT WANT MONEY FLOATING AROUND LONG... HAVE YOU BEEN TO WESTERN UNION Y ET ?
PLEASE LET ME KNOW AS CONFUSED.

DAVID

( let me know as confused... No idea what this meant, but I liked it )


(and..another email... I assume he left his computer to go to Western Union to happily pick up his check. )


HAve you recievd the money yet ??

respond asap




(Ooops. He catches on. Supposedly... but I guess he still has hope...)

"Hello David M. Beach, Great, i love that you think am stupid, i will never ask after the monmey again. the whole scene will be sort out btw you and the proper authority. cos i sent them the fake western receipt, you sent me, why are you joking with ur life, you think am joking ooooooh! pls as soon as the F.B.I, get to ur doorstep just let me know, you lied that you sent the money, but itwas tracked and not found on the system, Howcome. i wont say more that this till you sleep in jail, if i dont receive my money today. Regards. Pompey

(Hmm. I'm doomed for jail and he won't ask for the "monmey" again.
I assume he means money. Because he never did actually ask for monmey.

And not only does he love that I think he's stupid... I love that it's amusing me, I wonder if he knows that...)



(His letter does startle me though... as you can see by my surprise...)

WHAT ? I dont know what you mean about fake receipt. its the receipt I got ...Did you ask the wrong question !
Not sure why you have contacted fbi the money is good.
Perhaps error is on your end !


( p.s. please tell me who at the f.b.i. cares...I thought I had talked to everyone... )


( so he keeps going to western union and trying the test question. Western Union has a security system like old spy movies. It's a test question. I used, " How's the weather ? " He was to respond with " Cloudy." He apprently wanted to have them ask, " What color is the sky? "

I basically used my question because, since he assumed he would actually get the money from me... I didn' t know what color the sky was in his world.
Not to mention, how clever to ask, " What color is the sky?"
NO ONE WOULD EVER CRACK THAT SECURITY QUESTION !)


was this the text question i gave you, i said what is the colour of the sky and the answer is blue, how come yours who gave you that. Regards. POMPEY


hows the weather.... where did you get sky is blue ???

( once again, I have to hope he left his computer to go check at Western Union )

Havent heard from you and the money has to be there by now...
attached is western union receipt ..please inform....




Hello David, The money is yet to be received ,, it seems there is error on the details you sent go ahead and resend it again, cos i tracked the money , buy it isnot there. so pls do get back to me again with the details . corectly okay.today. Regards.

(so I resent my receipt )

( a brief brak for the fourth of july )


Am concerned youre having trouble on your end...
do I need to follow up...

western union closed today here...

d


(But somehow, I "speak" to someone at Western Union to try to figure out pompey's problem with the money I sent him )



( three simple and specific emails )

error on your end tracking from here says its there.
d


okay, let me have the tracking no then



its on the receipt

( duh )

Here You are, i cant get it tracked, i tried several times all in vais, the responds was, there is nothing like that track number on there system that you are joking, and they said how come you get their receipt, that is another offence you are just putting yourself into trouble. this is my last warning again. go to te western outlet again and tell them the money cant be tracked otherwise, i wont say nothing more than this again, Cos they said they will investigate and get back to you on how you got the receipt, do you know that is inpersonation.I have sent them your address and they even said the fbi contacted them about your act of deceiving, so you will be put to jail as soon as possible, believe me or not. Am waiting to read from you again. Regards. Pompey.


("I'm going to be put to jail." Oddly enough, still no word from Western Union nor the F.B.I. Honestly, in all sincerity... I do kind of worry about my fraud. I hope Western Union and the FBI at least have some sense of justice.
But since pompey is "waiting to read from me again" I figured I would write. )


i will send you the recipt again...
if you think I have another 3 grand to send your wrong...
are youusiung right number ? or code ?
d



( I love intentionally sending him slaughtered english emails.. for all I know this guy is living somewhere in Jersey...)

(But here is the email that gets the really odd. For some reason Pompey gives up on me .... and.... sends in ... his wife....
Pompey Celia...

ummmm they share a first name ? Now... I'm really confused... And she sounds like a real witch. hehehehe )

Hello, Hmm,Here is MrS Pompey, do you think you can scam my husband?never! we are taking this case beyond what you think, and by the time you are being caught up the you will know we arenot joking with you,Cos You proved to be wise, you are stupid for saying you went to western and they told you i collected the money. it is a lie. let me have their fone no and their address so i should give them a call and ask if it is true that they sent any money. Cos from their system it said their is nothing like the TRACKING NUMBER YOU CLAIMED WESTERN GAVE YOU, SEND IT TO THEM AND ASK THEM TO CONFIRM IT AND SEND ME THE RECEIPT THEN I WILL KNOW MAYBE THERE IS MISTAKE SOMEWHERE. BUT IF YOU DONT DO THAT TODAY. AM JUST TAKING MY TIME TO MAIL YOU , I SHOULDNOT HAVE TO, COS YOU ARE PLAYING SMART. AM GIVING YOU THE LAST WARNING, COS A M A CHRISTIAN, SO I WOULDNOT LOVE TO PUT YOU TO JAIL. FOR BEING A SCAMMER. Regards. Mrs Pompey Cecilia




(Well, at least she is a christian...odd that neither of them type well but you know the longer you live with someone the more you sound like them )

(and then my typical confused out-of-nowhere response ....sort of ignoring mrs pompey cecelia..cecelia pompey.. whoever)

I did not hear from you so I asume you did

(and a second email )

no email from you today... I shall assume you have claimed the cash and we are now settled

( actually I was hoping Yahoo had shut them down... but .. no )

Why didnot you include in your business name to the western receipt, that's the firsta lie, secondly. you forged the signature . thirdly you stole western receipt and claimed to have sent money to me. You will sleep in Hell Soon! bet me for that. Regards. Mrs Pompey Cecilia.


( Wow... I know as a Christian, I don't judge. She has accused me of lying by not including my business name .. - I didn't lie, I just didn't have a business name; Forgery - actually that was the signature that was on the receipt I found on the internet... everything else was photoshopped ; and Theft - well, I didn't pay for it... I just downloaded it.

But ..to send me to sleep in hell ? Pretty mean.

Not to mention, my guess is, sleep isn't allowed in hell. I mean, how bad could eternal damnation be if you were first , able to take a nap, and second, allowed to ? Her words don't really ring of Christianity. Not to mention she started this con. Well, her husband did anyway, Mr Roy Pompey. Pompey Roy... Cecelia... whomever.)

(But... I caught her in a lie ..
well...sort of... I decide to send a bit more confusion from me. )

okay..I went to western union ..they say you received the money !!!!
You tell me that you havent ...you threaten me with fbi... and you are the one lying. I am glad the contract is cancelled. you have the money and you want more.its not going to happen. if you did not get the money thaqn you mde a mistake with directions or somethign.
not my fault. if you lost the three grand you are out of luck. you signed no contract ..you sent more money than you should have...no you have lost the money or have it and pretnend you dont.... call fbi and i will report your lying abouyt the money you have recieved,!!!!!


( ahhh the joys of intentional typoes.. typos... tpyos... postys

(and my final comment which unfortunately and
yet fortunately
led to the
best email of the entire affair. )




Interesting in our country married people share last names ..are you miss pompey ..miss cecilia or miss roy...or is pompey the last name...Im confused...
maybe the money shouldnt have gone to aremy...
what the heck is goin gon..did you get the money or not ?
d

( sigh. I guess Roy Pompey Pompey roy cecelia didn't get this one.


Because,

the final response... to which.. I screamed victory and gave myself an ovation )

This message was created automatically by mail delivery software (Exim). A message that you sent could not be delivered to one or more of its recipients. This is a permanent error. The following address(es) failed: pompey_roy01@yahoo.com SMTP error from remote mailer after end of data: host mx3.mail.yahoo.com [4.79.181.12]: 554 delivery error: dd This user doesn't have a yahoo.com account (pompey_roy01@yahoo.com) [-5] - mta127.mail.mud.yahoo.com ------ This is a copy of the message, including all the headers. ------


( After nearly four days of calling and emailing yahoo email abuse department )

(and now... I just sit and await the criminal case from the FBI and Western Union...
perhaps my next post....)


(Bye Pompey.
.. or Roy...
or cecelia...
whatever......
it was fun...
Sorry at first I thought you were legit.)


On to my next adventure....

David

Here's some fun reading... and my second post...

Hey...here is the chain of a great scam Mr Pompey Roy tried to get me with.
Pompey is of course named after the great spewing volcano...Most of the stuff he spewed was pretty amusing...and the best thing is...well... I basically got on his nerves... His emails are in red... My responses are in blue...
and commentary is in black....
Enjoy and...tell your friends to watch out for him and people like him... feel free to write him until yahoo shuts him down...

pompey_roy01@yahoo.com

( of course people from the UK always hire me to emcee a birthday party < ?> )



Hello,
Am glad contacting you, in being the M.c of my fiancee birthday. which is coming on 26th july, i will be glad to hear you will be available, could you pls get back to me with your charges , am located in3 New Lane, Stibbington, Peterborough,PE8 6JU. in u.k you can contact me as soon as possib;le , i will be glad to hear from you soon. and moreso i will take care of your flight arrangement to my destination.
Regards.

I didnt realize you were out of the US. I will have to charge my full amount and I will travel with my assistant. If this is okay with you we can then discuss rates.
My travel performance rates are 900.00 performance day and 250 a travel day. My assistant will require accommodations as well and a rate of 250.00 a day.
If this is still within reason to you. I can accept payment via paypal. If there are questions about rate we can discuss it. Thanks.
My website for reference is


( I'll delete my website for now...just ...well, just cause...and of course my rates are always negotiable ;-) )

============================
David M. Beach
Good to hear from you, could you pls get back to me with the total amount for two of you
Regards..

( Apparently pompey can't do the math on his own ...so reading and writing and 'rithmetic aren't his greatest skills ..no wonder he needs an emcee for a birthday party )

you would cover flight and accommodations .. preferably two rooms.
and 900 for performance and 250 a travel day...
250 a day for my assistant.
Not sure what flight schedule are or how long travel would be but it would price out accordingly.
thanks...

(Hey, if he is gonna be a moron...I'll be happy to charge him whatever I want )

========================



"Hello David M. Beach,
am oky with your charges of 1400,
could you pls get back to me with your mailling address and your name for the cheque.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Regards,


(oh yeah...Im gonna give this bonehead my real address...bad enough he knows my website and my name )

I can accept payment via paypal...
my email there is madhypnotist@iwon.com
Let me send you a contract with the details as well..
keep in mind the money you are currently looking at is for one day...any additional travel day will be at least five hundred for the two of us...
Thanks...looking forward to the gig...
send me details of the person whose party it is and Ill start constructing a personalized script.

david

(Okay, so he didn't fall for the address thing, but at the time I assumed some legal authority would care and we could track him down. To this date, no one seems to care as there are a lot of idiots out there doing the same scam from countries that don't prosecute. )
============================

My sponsorer saod he will issue you a cashier cheque so pls let me have ur detals on how it will be sent to you.
Regards

(UR Details ? This guy's spelling went down hill every time he wrote.... or so he saod
By the way...if anyone reading this would like to sponsor one of my birthday parties, that would be great... I had no idea that was possible !)

David Beach
SES
Universal Studios Hollywood Entertainment
100 Universal City Plaza
Universal City, CA 91608

(Yeah, yeah.... it's a real address... I figured if I was gonna get a check... I would need to supply something... Feel free to send me a card... Or better yet, send a card to my bosses telling them how great I am. )

============================================


"Hi David M. Beach,
Good to hear fromy ou, pls i will like you to give me the name on which the cheque will be sent to you, pls let me hear from you soon.and also we would like to know ur phone and mobile no.... incase of contact

(Whose name goes on the check ? What, like I have a sponsor ? )

my name on the check will be fine...
and Ive lost my cell phone...so contact me at work...
818 622 3851..on the SES stage....

( Oh yeah... a real number... fee free to call my bosses and tell them how great I am ..)
============================


Hello,
How are you, hope all is well .its being along time i did hear from you, i believed you should have received the cheque, cos my secretary said she did sent it to you.
Hope to read from you soonest......................
Regard


Do me a favor and send me a a mailing address and phone contact as well...
I have my contract to send.

( Ahhh we are so cordial... this guy has a sponsor, a secretary. and a girlfriend...that's gonna be some party ! And yet, apparently he has no mailing address...or so it seems ! )
============================
Hello,
Have you received the cheque pls ........

(pls must be a foreign thing....)

have yet to receive it...


( Then I got creative and wrote emails to him without hearing from him first )


havent yet...What address did you send it to ?


david

( This time I just decided to start my email as though I had heard from him... and I figured the both of us could be illiterate )

Excellent...please send me contact number and address for you. Contract on the way..

david

(Contract on the way as though I had heard from him .. I actually emailed him a very silly contract with a few requests for things like green m&m's in the green room and a jacuzzi )



Im not sure how often you check your email, but since I haven't heard from you in regards to your mailing address...Im enclosing a standard contract for the event. Look it over, if you have any questions let me know and I will be happy to explain any of it.


David Beach

(Knowing full well he wouldn't and probably couldn't read it... but he could get his secretary to I bet. )



Im booking around your scheduled show..Please confirm or send deposit as soon as possible.

David

( I'm starting to get pushy. It must be all those green m&m's I'm used to )
============================


secretary called..check has arrived..Havent seen it yet, but it must be there...
Now awaiting contract from you..
d



( Sure, NOW he responds ! The following is my favorite email from Pompey of all time )


Hi David,
It's good to hear that you've received the cheque,my assistant mistakenly included funds for payment of the DJ services in the check he sent to you.The rest of the funds is meant for payment of the DJ that will be playing at the party.Please help transfer me the remaining money minus the transfer charges to DJ via western union money transfer.
Please help transfer the balance of $5,000 minus the transfer charges to the DJ via western union money transfer in the details below.

MR MICHAEL AREMY

22, BALLEISTRAAT
1790 TERALFENE
BELGIUM.

Below are western union transfer outlets close to you where you can send the money:

1, A & V PAYDAY ADVANCE
4795 VINELAND AVE #F
NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA 91602
Tel: (818) 761-5397

2, RALPHS #133
10901 VENTURA BLVD
STUDIO CITY, CA 91604
Tel: (818) 760-7008

Please get back to me with the transfer details in the manner below:

1,Sender's name and address

2,Receiver's name and address

3,Amount sent

4,Test question/Code word

5,The control number/MTCN.

You air ticket and hotel arrangement are in progress,expect the signed contract tomorrow.Waiting to read from you soon.

Roy.

Phone number: +44 7040 11 7048

( WOW.... Where did he learn English and how to type so quickly ? Must be his secretary. If ya haven't caught on yet, there is the scam. He OVERPAYS me 5 thousand dollars ! What a surprise ! A scam that started about ten years ago, right when Al Gore invented the internet. But... my guess is very few people respond to the overpayment like I did.... )

I have seen the cheque and I noticed the error, however the error is
actually in your favor as I am short approximately four hundred
dollars from the agreed upon fee. If you could please send the
difference with a signed contract that would be great.
You can also use the same sources below to wire the money. The sooner
the betetr as we are getting close to the agreed upon date.

david

(I even did the spelling of cheque so he would feel I could speak his language. I debated "favour" but opted for the more appealing typo of " betetr. " Quaint . )

============================

(Stunned silence from pompey... he is probably calling his secretary and sponsor to verify the amount of the -- cheque -- I email again to see what he would say .)

my guess is you forgot about my assistant. Please read original contract for specifications.
the pay details are in there.
Im also going to have to request a late flight...
time is now of the essence as I cant hold the day much longer...
if I dont receive contract soon...Ill have to renig

d



Hi David,please what is the amount on the check you received?.Cos i don't seem to understand.

Roy.


( translation : DUHR ? )
============================

Hello David,
I dont seems to understand you anylonger actually our agredd price for you performance was $1400, and the rest $5000 was for our dj, who is coming for the day with his people. and from the way you sound i must tell you am dissapoited in you , telling me different story . if not for the stupid secretary that did the mistake i wouylnot have been into this mes which you are saying. pls i will like you to help transfer the balance of $500 from youy payment to my dj addres below, so as to hold the date, but if you insist in increasing then go ahead and deduct your $400, from it and send the rest to the below info for this date pls i beg of you okay.
And i will explain to him through fone. and pls do get that done today okay.............

( Math is not pompey's strong suit...and... hey, wait a minute ! How much money is that DJ making anyway ?? And my guess is he isnt even traveling !!! I get snooty in the next email...)

You actually think I am performing for 1400 ?
I am traveling for two days..I am traveling with an assistant.I dont step on a stage in the states for under 1500.00 I havent seen a contract. I am afraid at this time I am considering cancelling on the entire gig.The contract quite clearly states the funds due.You havent returned the contract. The check you sent was also clearly short 400.00.
The date is nearly upon us.
I will return the five hundred upon receipt of the contract.

( So there. harumph. heheheheheheh Really ... I do make that kind of money in the states... if ya want to hire me... call my secretary... or ..my sponsor )

============================


Hello,
So how much is your performance in total now, pls advice



6 grand including assistant....
but...due to time...please complete contract



( Once again... math befuddles my dear friend pompey...and... durn it still no contract . On a side note... deep within the bowels of the contract is an odd stipulation that says.. " in the case of overpayment by contractor, money will be refunded after the performance... " Durn it.... if only he had signed that contract ! )


============================

Pls do send back my money then , i dont need you anylonger for the show , i will get someone else, thanks for doing business with you anyway.
pls try and send it today



give me your mailing address and I will send it immediately


( I am of course deeply hurt by the cancellation and should consider legal recourse... but instead I opt for more confusion .. the next few emails I pretend to not realize I have been fired and instead continue asking for the contract... For some reason, he accepts this... )
============================


Pls i have told you do send back my money then , i dont need you anylonger for the
show , i will get someone else, thanks for doing business with you
anyway.
pls try and send it today


Im not sure what you mean...is this in regards to the contract ??


( Again a series of "unresponded to" emails asking for the contract and clarification... Im not one to accept being fired easily )


am awaiting final payment and contract



still awaiting contract...have not heard from you... please inform

============================


Hello,
Help me send the money in cash not my cheque anylonger , cos you have caused alot of trouble for me, pls help me cash it and send the money to the info that i gave you ealier on to the dj. pls do that as soon as possible thgen i will get back to you with your contract okay.
Regards




my assistant is needing the contract asap..
hpe to hear from you soon

d

( I can't hear you... neener neener neener.. and now he won't even settle for his check back. Sigh You can view this check as well. It's pretty amusing. I called the bank that " wrote the cashier's check. It was of course bogus. You can tell immediately that it is, for one thing, the address on the check had one too many numbers in the zip coded. Durn foreigners. Know I don't mean all foreigners to be durned, just the scam artists that don't understand our mailing system. The check is also missing any security mark, system, or credibility of any kind )

================================

Hello David,
Pls help me send it to the D/J. PLS I BEG OF YOU OKAY. I PROMISED TO CONPSATE YOU ANYWAY WITH $800, PLS HELP ME DO THAT TODAY.
Regards.


Please advise as to where to send your check and when my contract will arrive..

( again with the pls... and now he is begging ... how sad )

================================

MR MICHAEL AREMY
22, BALLEISTRAAT
1790 TERALFENE
BELGIUM.

Below are western union transfer outlets close to you where you can send the money:

1, A & V PAYDAY ADVANCE
4795 VINELAND AVE #F
NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA 91602
Tel: (818) 761-5397

2, RALPHS #133
10901 VENTURA BLVD
STUDIO CITY, CA 91604
Tel: (818) 760-7008

Please get back to me with the transfer details in the manner below:

1,Sender's name and address

2,Receiver's name and address

3,Amount sent

4,Test question/Code word

5,The control number/MTCN.

You air ticket and hotel arrangement are in progress,expect the signed contract tomorrow.Waiting to read from you soon.

Roy.

Phone number: +44 7040 11 7048



==================================

you want me to cash the cheque is that what you mean ?

(Another series of "unresponded to" emails proving how befuddled I am... surely this scam doesn't really work ? Right ?)


I will go cash the check and send it..why havent you sent me the address yet ? You keep asking me to send it to you.but havent told me where yet ?

( Hello ? Hello... Im gonna go try to cash your bogus check... IS this thing on ? )



This check is sitting here...send me your mailing address and I will send it back...or perhaps if you want I can cash it and re-write a check....


( Oops. I took him too far. Even this genius has his limits... but then ... lo and behold...a response..)

================================

Hello David,
Am feedup with all this mess you are trying to play with me, i gave you an address of the D-J WE ARE OUGHT TO HAVE SEND THE MONEY, UNFORTUNATELY, YOU NEVER SEND IT ,WHY! I HAVE TOLD YOU TIMES WITHOUT NUMBERS THAT YIU SHOULD PLS HELP SEND HE MONEY, DID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE CAUSED ME FOR THIS SHOW. PLS HELP CASH IT AND ANYHOW YOU LIKE, IF IT IS BY CHEQUE OR WATEVER JUST HELP ME SEND IT TO THE D-J INFO; I GAVE U EARLIER ON. PLS FOR CHRIST SAKE OKAY.but preferably through western union, pls
Regards.


(Wow, so violent.. all in capital letters and everything. He must really be mad.. We are ought to have send the money even...Just for fun read the above email over again nice and loud when it is capitalized. Now picture him typing it with two fingers and thinking perhaps I will send him the cash. I love this guy. But, not enough to not yell back... )

WHY DO YOUNOT GIVE ME ADDRESS TO MAIL IT TO ! I CANT FIND WESTERN UNION TO MAIL IT TO ! TELL DJ TO CALL ME AND WE CAN SEND CHECK DIRECTLY ! PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE SENT THE CONTRACT ANYWAY!
SEND MAILING ADDRSS !

( and with similar muddled context. Feel free to re-read mine and yell as well. And, I would like to buy a vowel, Alex )


( Silence from pompey roy...so I re-yell at him )

AWAITING YOUR ADDRSSS! WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUBBORN ? NO WONDER NOONE LOCAAL WILL WORK FOR YOU!!!
SEND CONTRACT IMMEDIATELY AND MAILING ADDRESS! I WILL SEND YOU THE CASH I HAVE ASAP.

( Please note the slam about not being able to get locals to work for him... It made me laugh until I realized he did have that very pricey DJ. Well, I guess anyone will work for Pompey, if you pay them enough )

================================

(Then he responds with what can best be interpreted as that snotty " helloooo" that you give to stupid people... )


HeLLO,
Infact, am tired of all this, i gave you some western outlet around you, and now yo said u cant find one, pls for god sake why are yiu treating me this way!why Here is the western outlet near you again, pls help me with this as soon as possible , may God be with you Below are western union transfer outlets close to you where you can send the money today:

1, A & V PAYDAY ADVANCE
4795 VINELAND AVE #F
NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA 91602
Tel: (818) 761-5397


2, RALPHS #133
10901 VENTURA BLVD
STUDIO CITY, CA 91604
Tel: (818) 760-7008


( He did say " May God be with you... " that was nice. It almost made me feel bad to send back this short little irking email )


they are no longer there...



================================

It seems you are not okay with this stupid things u are playing with me, expect fbi at ur doorstep ssonest. cos i have reported you to them and i promised u hell.
Thanks and God Bless.
Regards.
Pompey.


( wow. Sometimes the shortest emails get the best response.
I won't even go into how silly the above email sounds. It actually is painful to read. Not the FBI part of it. But the actual sentence structure alone. ...It seems you are not okay with this stupid things u are playing with me... Now seriously, what does that mean ? And the FBI at my doorstep "ssonest."
I know of course that the FBI does get very involved with breaches of contracts for birthday parties. I watch all those cop shows so I know. What saddens me is, I have been in touch with the FBI computer division about Pompey, and to the best of my knowledge, they don't do anything. Apparently, there are a lot of these boneheads out there trying to scam people. I don't know anyone stupid enough to fall for it, but the guys perpetuating the scam aren't too bright. Then again, they have sponsors. I don't have a sponsor, so they must be doing something right. As near as I can figure, it's not one guy making a lot of money off of simple minded people. I am assuming Pompey is a simple minded person thinking this will work and he tries everywhere. Unfortunately, there are a LOT of Pompeys out there. Someone needs to find them and tell them that this scam doesn't work. Here in the states, if you want a good scam, you start a multi-level marketing company. So I wrote back... )

not sure why you have called the fbi....i am merely trying to send you back the check that you sent me...
and you are refusing to help me do that in anyway,....
i am somewhat offended by your comment about hell... but can understand your frustration...
all i need is a way to get the money back to you...
and FOR SOME REASON YOU ARE REFUSING TO TAKE IT!!!@


But, some people never learn. So... of course I emailed Pompey again... and envisioned him rubbing his trembling little two fingered typing hands together with glee as he enters the western union office.... )



Okay...I found a western union and since I have yet to deposit your check... I sent money from my account to you...
I will cash your check on tuesday however just to let ya know....
I dont know why you decided to contact the FBI as I have yet to see a contract from you and feel as though you were dragging your feet on that...
Sorry it took so long to get your money back to you....
if you wouild like to hire me in the future .. I hoe we can arrange things differently.


Please contact me when you pick up the money from western union...


d


More to follow as the adventure continues....

My first "BLOG"

And so it begins...
A blog following the exciting world of someone that doesn't have that exciting of a world. The adventures of an actor, variety artist, photographer, stand-up, single guy dating on the internet. Following the everyday pains, failures, successes and stabs in the dark of someone who is just trying to figure out how to come out on top. Of everything.
There's more, but this is not the time.