Pompey is of course named after the great spewing volcano...Most of the stuff he spewed was pretty amusing...and the best thing is...well... I basically got on his nerves... His emails are in red... My responses are in blue...
and commentary is in black....
Enjoy and...tell your friends to watch out for him and people like him... feel free to write him until yahoo shuts him down...
pompey_roy01@yahoo.com
( of course people from the UK always hire me to emcee a birthday party < ?> )
Hello,
Am glad contacting you, in being the M.c of my fiancee birthday. which is coming on 26th july, i will be glad to hear you will be available, could you pls get back to me with your charges , am located in3 New Lane, Stibbington, Peterborough,PE8 6JU. in u.k you can contact me as soon as possib;le , i will be glad to hear from you soon. and moreso i will take care of your flight arrangement to my destination.
Regards.
I didnt realize you were out of the US. I will have to charge my full amount and I will travel with my assistant. If this is okay with you we can then discuss rates.
My travel performance rates are 900.00 performance day and 250 a travel day. My assistant will require accommodations as well and a rate of 250.00 a day.
If this is still within reason to you. I can accept payment via paypal. If there are questions about rate we can discuss it. Thanks.
My website for reference is
( I'll delete my website for now...just ...well, just cause...and of course my rates are always negotiable ;-) )
============================
David M. Beach
Good to hear from you, could you pls get back to me with the total amount for two of you
Regards..
( Apparently pompey can't do the math on his own ...so reading and writing and 'rithmetic aren't his greatest skills ..no wonder he needs an emcee for a birthday party )
you would cover flight and accommodations .. preferably two rooms.
and 900 for performance and 250 a travel day...
250 a day for my assistant.
Not sure what flight schedule are or how long travel would be but it would price out accordingly.
thanks...
(Hey, if he is gonna be a moron...I'll be happy to charge him whatever I want )
========================
"Hello David M. Beach,
am oky with your charges of 1400,
could you pls get back to me with your mailling address and your name for the cheque.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Regards,
(oh yeah...Im gonna give this bonehead my real address...bad enough he knows my website and my name )
I can accept payment via paypal...
my email there is madhypnotist@iwon.com
Let me send you a contract with the details as well..
keep in mind the money you are currently looking at is for one day...any additional travel day will be at least five hundred for the two of us...
Thanks...looking forward to the gig...
send me details of the person whose party it is and Ill start constructing a personalized script.
david
(Okay, so he didn't fall for the address thing, but at the time I assumed some legal authority would care and we could track him down. To this date, no one seems to care as there are a lot of idiots out there doing the same scam from countries that don't prosecute. )
============================
My sponsorer saod he will issue you a cashier cheque so pls let me have ur detals on how it will be sent to you.
Regards
(UR Details ? This guy's spelling went down hill every time he wrote.... or so he saod
By the way...if anyone reading this would like to sponsor one of my birthday parties, that would be great... I had no idea that was possible !)
David Beach
SES
Universal Studios Hollywood Entertainment
100 Universal City Plaza
Universal City, CA 91608
(Yeah, yeah.... it's a real address... I figured if I was gonna get a check... I would need to supply something... Feel free to send me a card... Or better yet, send a card to my bosses telling them how great I am. )
============================================
"Hi David M. Beach,
Good to hear fromy ou, pls i will like you to give me the name on which the cheque will be sent to you, pls let me hear from you soon.and also we would like to know ur phone and mobile no.... incase of contact
(Whose name goes on the check ? What, like I have a sponsor ? )
my name on the check will be fine...
and Ive lost my cell phone...so contact me at work...
818 622 3851..on the SES stage....
( Oh yeah... a real number... fee free to call my bosses and tell them how great I am ..)
============================
Hello,
How are you, hope all is well .its being along time i did hear from you, i believed you should have received the cheque, cos my secretary said she did sent it to you.
Hope to read from you soonest......................
Regard
Do me a favor and send me a a mailing address and phone contact as well...
I have my contract to send.
( Ahhh we are so cordial... this guy has a sponsor, a secretary. and a girlfriend...that's gonna be some party ! And yet, apparently he has no mailing address...or so it seems ! )
============================
Hello,
Have you received the cheque pls ........
(pls must be a foreign thing....)
have yet to receive it...
( Then I got creative and wrote emails to him without hearing from him first )
havent yet...What address did you send it to ?
david
( This time I just decided to start my email as though I had heard from him... and I figured the both of us could be illiterate )
Excellent...please send me contact number and address for you. Contract on the way..
david
(Contract on the way as though I had heard from him .. I actually emailed him a very silly contract with a few requests for things like green m&m's in the green room and a jacuzzi )
Im not sure how often you check your email, but since I haven't heard from you in regards to your mailing address...Im enclosing a standard contract for the event. Look it over, if you have any questions let me know and I will be happy to explain any of it.
David Beach
(Knowing full well he wouldn't and probably couldn't read it... but he could get his secretary to I bet. )
Im booking around your scheduled show..Please confirm or send deposit as soon as possible.
David
( I'm starting to get pushy. It must be all those green m&m's I'm used to )
============================
secretary called..check has arrived..Havent seen it yet, but it must be there...
Now awaiting contract from you..
d
( Sure, NOW he responds ! The following is my favorite email from Pompey of all time )
Hi David,
It's good to hear that you've received the cheque,my assistant mistakenly included funds for payment of the DJ services in the check he sent to you.The rest of the funds is meant for payment of the DJ that will be playing at the party.Please help transfer me the remaining money minus the transfer charges to DJ via western union money transfer.
Please help transfer the balance of $5,000 minus the transfer charges to the DJ via western union money transfer in the details below.
MR MICHAEL AREMY
22, BALLEISTRAAT
1790 TERALFENE
BELGIUM.
Below are western union transfer outlets close to you where you can send the money:
1, A & V PAYDAY ADVANCE
4795 VINELAND AVE #F
NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA 91602
Tel: (818) 761-5397
2, RALPHS #133
10901 VENTURA BLVD
STUDIO CITY, CA 91604
Tel: (818) 760-7008
Please get back to me with the transfer details in the manner below:
1,Sender's name and address
2,Receiver's name and address
3,Amount sent
4,Test question/Code word
5,The control number/MTCN.
You air ticket and hotel arrangement are in progress,expect the signed contract tomorrow.Waiting to read from you soon.
Roy.
Phone number: +44 7040 11 7048
( WOW.... Where did he learn English and how to type so quickly ? Must be his secretary. If ya haven't caught on yet, there is the scam. He OVERPAYS me 5 thousand dollars ! What a surprise ! A scam that started about ten years ago, right when Al Gore invented the internet. But... my guess is very few people respond to the overpayment like I did.... )
I have seen the cheque and I noticed the error, however the error is
actually in your favor as I am short approximately four hundred
dollars from the agreed upon fee. If you could please send the
difference with a signed contract that would be great.
You can also use the same sources below to wire the money. The sooner
the betetr as we are getting close to the agreed upon date.
david
(I even did the spelling of cheque so he would feel I could speak his language. I debated "favour" but opted for the more appealing typo of " betetr. " Quaint . )
============================
(Stunned silence from pompey... he is probably calling his secretary and sponsor to verify the amount of the -- cheque -- I email again to see what he would say .)
my guess is you forgot about my assistant. Please read original contract for specifications.
the pay details are in there.
Im also going to have to request a late flight...
time is now of the essence as I cant hold the day much longer...
if I dont receive contract soon...Ill have to renig
d
Hi David,please what is the amount on the check you received?.Cos i don't seem to understand.
Roy.
( translation : DUHR ? )
============================
Hello David,
I dont seems to understand you anylonger actually our agredd price for you performance was $1400, and the rest $5000 was for our dj, who is coming for the day with his people. and from the way you sound i must tell you am dissapoited in you , telling me different story . if not for the stupid secretary that did the mistake i wouylnot have been into this mes which you are saying. pls i will like you to help transfer the balance of $500 from youy payment to my dj addres below, so as to hold the date, but if you insist in increasing then go ahead and deduct your $400, from it and send the rest to the below info for this date pls i beg of you okay.
And i will explain to him through fone. and pls do get that done today okay.............
( Math is not pompey's strong suit...and... hey, wait a minute ! How much money is that DJ making anyway ?? And my guess is he isnt even traveling !!! I get snooty in the next email...)
You actually think I am performing for 1400 ?
I am traveling for two days..I am traveling with an assistant.I dont step on a stage in the states for under 1500.00 I havent seen a contract. I am afraid at this time I am considering cancelling on the entire gig.The contract quite clearly states the funds due.You havent returned the contract. The check you sent was also clearly short 400.00.
The date is nearly upon us.
I will return the five hundred upon receipt of the contract.
( So there. harumph. heheheheheheh Really ... I do make that kind of money in the states... if ya want to hire me... call my secretary... or ..my sponsor )
============================
Hello,
So how much is your performance in total now, pls advice
6 grand including assistant....
but...due to time...please complete contract
( Once again... math befuddles my dear friend pompey...and... durn it still no contract . On a side note... deep within the bowels of the contract is an odd stipulation that says.. " in the case of overpayment by contractor, money will be refunded after the performance... " Durn it.... if only he had signed that contract ! )
============================
Pls do send back my money then , i dont need you anylonger for the show , i will get someone else, thanks for doing business with you anyway.
pls try and send it today
give me your mailing address and I will send it immediately
( I am of course deeply hurt by the cancellation and should consider legal recourse... but instead I opt for more confusion .. the next few emails I pretend to not realize I have been fired and instead continue asking for the contract... For some reason, he accepts this... )
============================
Pls i have told you do send back my money then , i dont need you anylonger for the
show , i will get someone else, thanks for doing business with you
anyway.
pls try and send it today
Im not sure what you mean...is this in regards to the contract ??
( Again a series of "unresponded to" emails asking for the contract and clarification... Im not one to accept being fired easily )
am awaiting final payment and contract
still awaiting contract...have not heard from you... please inform
============================
Hello,
Help me send the money in cash not my cheque anylonger , cos you have caused alot of trouble for me, pls help me cash it and send the money to the info that i gave you ealier on to the dj. pls do that as soon as possible thgen i will get back to you with your contract okay.
Regards
my assistant is needing the contract asap..
hpe to hear from you soon
d
( I can't hear you... neener neener neener.. and now he won't even settle for his check back. Sigh You can view this check as well. It's pretty amusing. I called the bank that " wrote the cashier's check. It was of course bogus. You can tell immediately that it is, for one thing, the address on the check had one too many numbers in the zip coded. Durn foreigners. Know I don't mean all foreigners to be durned, just the scam artists that don't understand our mailing system. The check is also missing any security mark, system, or credibility of any kind )
================================
Hello David,
Pls help me send it to the D/J. PLS I BEG OF YOU OKAY. I PROMISED TO CONPSATE YOU ANYWAY WITH $800, PLS HELP ME DO THAT TODAY.
Regards.
Please advise as to where to send your check and when my contract will arrive..
( again with the pls... and now he is begging ... how sad )
================================
MR MICHAEL AREMY
22, BALLEISTRAAT
1790 TERALFENE
BELGIUM.
Below are western union transfer outlets close to you where you can send the money:
1, A & V PAYDAY ADVANCE
4795 VINELAND AVE #F
NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA 91602
Tel: (818) 761-5397
2, RALPHS #133
10901 VENTURA BLVD
STUDIO CITY, CA 91604
Tel: (818) 760-7008
Please get back to me with the transfer details in the manner below:
1,Sender's name and address
2,Receiver's name and address
3,Amount sent
4,Test question/Code word
5,The control number/MTCN.
You air ticket and hotel arrangement are in progress,expect the signed contract tomorrow.Waiting to read from you soon.
Roy.
Phone number: +44 7040 11 7048
==================================
you want me to cash the cheque is that what you mean ?
(Another series of "unresponded to" emails proving how befuddled I am... surely this scam doesn't really work ? Right ?)
I will go cash the check and send it..why havent you sent me the address yet ? You keep asking me to send it to you.but havent told me where yet ?
( Hello ? Hello... Im gonna go try to cash your bogus check... IS this thing on ? )
This check is sitting here...send me your mailing address and I will send it back...or perhaps if you want I can cash it and re-write a check....
( Oops. I took him too far. Even this genius has his limits... but then ... lo and behold...a response..)
================================
Hello David,
Am feedup with all this mess you are trying to play with me, i gave you an address of the D-J WE ARE OUGHT TO HAVE SEND THE MONEY, UNFORTUNATELY, YOU NEVER SEND IT ,WHY! I HAVE TOLD YOU TIMES WITHOUT NUMBERS THAT YIU SHOULD PLS HELP SEND HE MONEY, DID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE CAUSED ME FOR THIS SHOW. PLS HELP CASH IT AND ANYHOW YOU LIKE, IF IT IS BY CHEQUE OR WATEVER JUST HELP ME SEND IT TO THE D-J INFO; I GAVE U EARLIER ON. PLS FOR CHRIST SAKE OKAY.but preferably through western union, pls
Regards.
(Wow, so violent.. all in capital letters and everything. He must really be mad.. We are ought to have send the money even...Just for fun read the above email over again nice and loud when it is capitalized. Now picture him typing it with two fingers and thinking perhaps I will send him the cash. I love this guy. But, not enough to not yell back... )
WHY DO YOUNOT GIVE ME ADDRESS TO MAIL IT TO ! I CANT FIND WESTERN UNION TO MAIL IT TO ! TELL DJ TO CALL ME AND WE CAN SEND CHECK DIRECTLY ! PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE SENT THE CONTRACT ANYWAY!
SEND MAILING ADDRSS !
( and with similar muddled context. Feel free to re-read mine and yell as well. And, I would like to buy a vowel, Alex )
( Silence from pompey roy...so I re-yell at him )
AWAITING YOUR ADDRSSS! WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUBBORN ? NO WONDER NOONE LOCAAL WILL WORK FOR YOU!!!
SEND CONTRACT IMMEDIATELY AND MAILING ADDRESS! I WILL SEND YOU THE CASH I HAVE ASAP.
( Please note the slam about not being able to get locals to work for him... It made me laugh until I realized he did have that very pricey DJ. Well, I guess anyone will work for Pompey, if you pay them enough )
================================
(Then he responds with what can best be interpreted as that snotty " helloooo" that you give to stupid people... )
HeLLO,
Infact, am tired of all this, i gave you some western outlet around you, and now yo said u cant find one, pls for god sake why are yiu treating me this way!why Here is the western outlet near you again, pls help me with this as soon as possible , may God be with you Below are western union transfer outlets close to you where you can send the money today:
1, A & V PAYDAY ADVANCE
4795 VINELAND AVE #F
NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA 91602
Tel: (818) 761-5397
2, RALPHS #133
10901 VENTURA BLVD
STUDIO CITY, CA 91604
Tel: (818) 760-7008
( He did say " May God be with you... " that was nice. It almost made me feel bad to send back this short little irking email )
they are no longer there...
================================
It seems you are not okay with this stupid things u are playing with me, expect fbi at ur doorstep ssonest. cos i have reported you to them and i promised u hell.
Thanks and God Bless.
Regards.
Pompey.
( wow. Sometimes the shortest emails get the best response.
I won't even go into how silly the above email sounds. It actually is painful to read. Not the FBI part of it. But the actual sentence structure alone. ...It seems you are not okay with this stupid things u are playing with me... Now seriously, what does that mean ? And the FBI at my doorstep "ssonest."
I know of course that the FBI does get very involved with breaches of contracts for birthday parties. I watch all those cop shows so I know. What saddens me is, I have been in touch with the FBI computer division about Pompey, and to the best of my knowledge, they don't do anything. Apparently, there are a lot of these boneheads out there trying to scam people. I don't know anyone stupid enough to fall for it, but the guys perpetuating the scam aren't too bright. Then again, they have sponsors. I don't have a sponsor, so they must be doing something right. As near as I can figure, it's not one guy making a lot of money off of simple minded people. I am assuming Pompey is a simple minded person thinking this will work and he tries everywhere. Unfortunately, there are a LOT of Pompeys out there. Someone needs to find them and tell them that this scam doesn't work. Here in the states, if you want a good scam, you start a multi-level marketing company. So I wrote back... )
not sure why you have called the fbi....i am merely trying to send you back the check that you sent me...
and you are refusing to help me do that in anyway,....
i am somewhat offended by your comment about hell... but can understand your frustration...
all i need is a way to get the money back to you...
and FOR SOME REASON YOU ARE REFUSING TO TAKE IT!!!@
But, some people never learn. So... of course I emailed Pompey again... and envisioned him rubbing his trembling little two fingered typing hands together with glee as he enters the western union office.... )
Okay...I found a western union and since I have yet to deposit your check... I sent money from my account to you...
I will cash your check on tuesday however just to let ya know....
I dont know why you decided to contact the FBI as I have yet to see a contract from you and feel as though you were dragging your feet on that...
Sorry it took so long to get your money back to you....
if you wouild like to hire me in the future .. I hoe we can arrange things differently.
Please contact me when you pick up the money from western union...
d
More to follow as the adventure continues....
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